what happens when you intentionally adventure with kids
Summer 2022 was our busiest and fullest summer yet. We went from doing almost no traveling for 18 months (COVID) plus very limited outings for the 2+ years prior to that (babies & toddler stages). That is just the way our timeline worked out and it had gotten really boring!
So this summer we put the pedal to the floor to make up on nearly 4 years of mostly staying at home. Here are some thoughts and realizations I’ve since we have been adventuring more.
1. It's okay if you need to find external motivation.
I think the biggest thing I realized was that I needed an outside motivator. It is easy to push off a trip or even a simple outing because of all the effort involved.
I wish I could say I had the purest motives in our travel. But the reality is, I needed to capture content for this site so I didn’t have a choice! And I’m okay with that because the alternative would have been missing out all together.
So if you’re struggling with motivation then I’m giving you permission to find whatever it is that will push you. Is it sharing your photos with friends and family, posting to social media, compiling a photo book each year, or documenting it on your own personal blog/website, etc?
I think the end justifies the means when it comes to prioritizing adventure with your kids.
2. adventuring makes you a team
Being “Team Family” is important to us. I’ve listened to and read a lot recently about how important it is for the family to be seen as a team. This means having a shared mission and giving your kids the excitement, energy, adventure and accomplishment in/through what you do as a family versus externally through less desirable means. (There is a lot more to this and if you want to hear it then I recommend this podcast: Intentional Family. Note, it has a Christian world-view in mind.)
Back to adventuring… Being out and adventuring has united us in more ways than one. With the kids, I prep them ahead when we’re doing something big (SkyWheel, hunting murals in Lake City, seeing the Frida Exhibit) so that they are active participants and not just tag-alongs. And it’s been so fun to watch them own it!
The team connection deepens relationships too. Some of our adventures have left us in unforeseen situations where we really needed to support one another. For example, my daughter and I got lost in a cemetery in Savannah with rain on the way so we worked together to re-trace our steps and get out of there while my husband and son were simultaneously searching for us. These situations might not seem ideal as they are happening but they create powerful memories.
3. They will want to adventure more.
And they'll play better at home too.
This may not be universally true. Kids are so different! But my two are both pretty solid homebodies and after a few weeks of 4+ outings per week, they started to expect it. They would ask where we were going or request to go back to someplace we’d already gone.
I’ll admit that this hit me wrong initially. Almost like they weren’t grateful for all the fun we’d already had. But I soon realized that they were just adjusting to a new routine and pattern that I’d created – a totally normal and healthy thing to do!
Then on days when we stayed home… Oh boy, did they play so well together! They had all these new ideas from our adventures to work out in play (fire trucks, train stations, ice cream shop owners) and they were pals from all the bonding/team building time we had when we were out and about.
4. It won't always feel meaningful or memorable (or even fun) in the moment.
Yes, I’ve just gushed all about how it’s soooooo great but there is another side. Sometimes it won’t be super fun in the moment. The kids are dragging, the attraction is just not that cool, the weather won’t cooperate, or whatever it is. My strategy here is to once again, fake it until you make it. Keep going, take the pictures, engage with your surroundings, offer snacks upon snacks, make the most of it.
Because I know once we’re back home and I’m looking at the pictures and videos, I almost immediately get the warm fuzzies thinking about the trip and memories, etc. Hindsight almost always makes things better or worse that it actually was. And I’ve found a little time always has me reflecting positively on the trips and outings we had (even if they really did have challenges in the moment). And that will probably happen in your kids’ memory too!
5. you'll learn more about your family dynamics
It’s a common thing for kids to behave one way when just one parent is around versus how they behave with both parents around. This is also true of how they’ll do when you’re out adventuring. The specific dynamic that is in play for our kids is knowing they have an escape route when both parents are along.
If we’re out as a family of four and the kids decide they don’t want to participate in an activity they can usually act up enough for my husband to decide they need to be removed from the situation. There are situations where that is wise (disrupting other guests, being unsafe, etc.) but if it happens too often then it can set a pattern that is hard to fix. Furthermore, it can lead to future assumptions about how something will go and lower expectations for a child’s behavior. Then those things will circle back to the original issue of not adventuring in the first place.
Contrast that with times when my husband isn’t along and the kids know they have no alternate escape route. They behave better and they get through it! Please know that I am not dragging them against their will anywhere! I’m primarily talking about issues of boredom, irrational fears, impatience, selfish attitudes, etc that can arise anywhere and at any time.
This is something we’re just starting to unpack as a family and will likely take many long conversations and new strategies to remedy.
some quick thoughts & tips
Let your kids enjoy things on their own terms. They may not appreciate it the way it was intended or the way you imagined but if they’re still having fun then call it a win!
Find something just for you in these outings. We often hit a juice bar, coffee shop or acai bowl place when we’re out because that is what I want! Or we’ll stop at a restaurant to just get an appetizer and regroup. That helps me feel less like an activity director and more like a participant who can enjoy the adventure too.
Play up the educational component as much as you wish. You don’t have to do this but I think it’s well worth the time. If we’re going somewhere historical or educational, we like to prepare in advance when we can (watch some videos or read books). Or we might spend a week or two after digging into the topic/subject even deeper. You’ll be surprised what kids absorb when learning is paired with doing/experiencing!
Read some tips, FAQs, look at pictures, etc before going. If you’re going somewhere big or new (zoo, museum, aquarium, different city, even a new park) I highly recommend doing some research about the place. Ideally, you can find some tips on our site but if we haven’t covered it then try to find a balanced review from a real person. It can be very overwhelming to get to a new place, feel overwhelmed, try to decipher the guide brochure, all while keeping the excited kids from darting away. Even though I’m generally “go with the flow” mom, I need to have a plan when we’re out exploring.
that's all I've got for now!
That ended up being about 3x as long as I’d planned. Oops, so sorry! Hope it was helpful. Shoot me an email at hello@momsofmyrtle.com if your experience has been similar –– or if it’s been different. Let’s learn from one another!
